[Wednesday January 13th 2010]
[Today's Mood; Frustrated]
[Song; One Republic's Godd Life]

Well, merry late Christmas everybody and a happy late new year as well, haha. Haven't been around here much but I've been busy.
Christmas went over well, had frp, the 23rd to the 28th off and spent Christmas with Barry and his family since I couldn't come down to see my family. I got socks and scarves, and neat art supplies from his parents and sister (and an electric pikachu toothbrush haha ♥) and Barry decided to be lame and get me this expensive (and gorgeous) Yoko figurine who sits at my computer desk with my Batman; Arkham Asylum Batarang replica, my Harley firgurine and my Lucky Star figurine set. Why, yes, I do have the nerdiest desk in the house. Thanks for asking.
I spent new years at the house with Meagan, Kevin, Mel, Greg, Amber and Barry. We made tortelini dinner and watched the oldschool ghostbusters and by the end of that movie we were getting pretty drunk and dubbing over the movie with our own story. Good times. As midnight arrived we all celebrated with shots, Amber and I downed two jager bombs (with waaay too much redbull) and the rest did some slippery nipples. For the first time ever I had someone to kiss at midnight, so I can now say that at new years I kissed a Barry, and he, Amber and I then ventured out to the gas station to get grape cigars and celebrate the coming year.

So far I am 13 days into the new year. It's a rocky start to the year, I've just left my job at superstore Kelowna, my parents are struggling with money and there's a chance I may move nack with them to help them out a bit. I'm sitting down with them over dinner to talk about it, I really hope it doesn't come to that. Maybe if I hadn't met Barry, this decision would be easier, but then again I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. I may be unemployed and only have a place to stay until the end of january but I'm happy I can hold on to him and, strangely, I'm a bit excited for the whole thing. I mean, I started this sort of 'new life' by moving to Kelowna but was always dragged back by my employment, now that I've let go it's... great! Sure there are a lot of things I'm stressing about now but... hey, this part of me knows I can depend on Barry, and Meagan and Kevin as well.

Yeah, so I'm desperately trying to keep a positive spin on things and it seems to be working for now.
On a different note, I may be catching my flight home tonight. My plans to see some people aren't working out like I'd planned, and quite frankly, Surrey isn't where I want to be right now. Well, we'll see when my dad wakes up.

[Sunday November 1st 2009]
[Today's Mood; Sneaky]
[Song; Glee cast's cover of Don't stop believing]

TAKE THAT SQUEAKY FOLD OUT COUCH ;D

[Sunday October 11th 2009]
[Today's Mood; Nervous]
[Song; none]

Haven't really updated much, whoops.
So I've been seeing Barry for just over a week now. I can't believe how hard I've fallen for him so fast. I'm scared that I might still be confused about things and that my feelings are moving too fast but... at the same time it feels so right you know?
Whatever, I probably don't know what I'm talking about anyway.

Went to Red Robins with Rob and Denise yesterday and ate some yummy foods and we all headed to the Orchard park famous players to catch Zombieland where, it turns out, the engineers were going to see it. I was lucky enough to get to see it with Meagan, Kevin, Nathan and Barry too :D. It was an epicly awesome movie, I jumped a couple of times but was rewarded by forehead kisses from Barry and giggles from Rob, haha! After the movie, Rob and I waited with Denise at the bus stop and went off to superstore where Rob treated me to new pjs and a sweater :)
As some may know, tomorrow is canadian thanksgiving, Rob and I are planning on going to Denise's place for a big Turkey dinner. I am so excited. Although, I did go to Barry's grandparent's place for an early thanksgiving dinner. I met his grandparents, his parents and his sister who were all exceptional to me. I was a shy and awkward mess, but they were still so amazingly nice. I can't wait to meet them again :D


Not much else going on really.
Went down to Surrey last Sun, Mon, Tues. That was fun! I got to see lots of people I hadn't in a really long time.
Until next time I guess?

[Tuesday September 30th 2009]
[Today's Mood; Dreamy]
[Song; Miley Cyrus' Party in the U.S.A]

So, that's it, I'm crushing. Really bad.
I didn't really feel it until tonight, but holy shit am I crushing bad.
I want him to come back and curl up with me on the couch. I want him to hold my hand and tell me stories about his day. I want him to kiss my forehead. I want him here.

I'm letting my feelings win.
My knees turn to jell-o when he's around.
My heart feels like it's going to burst out of my chest.
My words get caught in my throat.

God, I haven't let a crush win in a while.
This awkward mess of feelings is.... amazing.
Please don't let me screw this up.

Even thinking about him is making my heart flutter.
I can't keep this smile off my face.
Damnit, why didn't anyone tell me this felt so nice?

[Tuesday September 22st 2009]
[Today's Mood; Loved]
[Song; The All-American Rejects's Move Along]

"You are one of the most beautiful people I know. Both inside and out."
"You've brought so much joy in my life."

I don't deserve any of you
I don't.

I think the healing can finally start.

[Wednesday August 5th 2009]
[Today's Mood; Happy]
[Song; Apologize(cover) by Silverstein]

Sorry for the no updates, I've been a bit busy.
Visited Surrey on Saturday and Sunday, it was brief and I got to see few people I wanted to (but I'll be coming back down in 5 days!) so I'm hoping to cram more visits with more people in next week. I wont like rushing between visits, and having a full schedule, but I'll have to suck it up and deal. If I remember right, Britt's off on Mondays (but I could be SO WRONG and my plans will fail) so I was hoping to go see a movie/dinner/just go out with her on the Monday I get there. Tuesday is already established as a family day, I've got my orthodontist appointment on Tuesday, so that'll eat some time up. I'm still excited none the less.
Other people I have to see are Alix, Shalini, Theresa, Krista, Ron, Matt, Arvin, Charity, Hannah, Nadyne, Cindy!, Andrew, Ashley.... uh Dawn, Carrie, Liz and Megs again if I can (gotta return your copy of Shadow Hearts 1) ugh... that's so many people and only like... four days. I should just have a massive dinner party at Ricky's lol.


Brought my Xbox360 home, unfortunately didn't have enough room for my ps2, so I'll have to pick that up next time (and yes, massive Pikachu plushe > ps2 haha) plus my sister sent me a squidward stuffie which made me so happy, I'd like t find a matching spongebob and patrick lol.

Going to play more pokemon now, really excited for HG and SS :D~ <3

[Sunday July 26th 2009]
[Today's Mood; Silly]
[Song; Nothing Special by illScarlet]

[12:00pm]
So groggy this morning, I can't believe it. I did have fun last night though, and the Harry Potter movie was all worth it to see Harry trippin' out on that luck potion thing. Also, Draco in his suit? Win. I didn't read the books, so I don't know what they cut out, which actually made the movie more enjoyable. I didn't spend time going "Oh, pfft, that was wrong." Yep Yep, so fun night with Kevin.
Today looks like it's shaping up to be a nicer day outside than Yesterday. Ridiculous and wild thunderstorms hit all day yesterday. I was really worried about bringing hom my brand spankin' new PlayStaion3 in the rain and was lucky enough to get a ride from Noleen. She is a doll, I owe her big. Haven't set up the PS3 yet actually, Kevin's computer crapped out on him and he's been playing FFXII which is fine, he seems petty upset about it and I really don't mind watching him play. He's just hit Archades and having a ton of fun talking to the Alley folk, hahaha.

I hate days when I have a load of stuff planned, and I wake up and feel like crap and just want to scrap everything. I woke up at 11:00am for one, which is terrible since the sun is going to be hitting full on fairly soon and it'll make running errands a pain in the ass. I mean, it was my fault entirely, I woke up at 5:30am and went to sleep at 2:30am yesterday which killed the possibility of m doing anything productive today.
I also really wanna draw but I've hit a bit of a block so my sketchbook is just filled with scribbles I don't really like. Also, I would be in need of a scanner here, but I really can't afford it, so I'll have to wait until I can pick up my Tablet from home next week... I guess?

Just noticed... Kevin's got a mighty sweet farmer's tan.

[10:00pm]
Did absolutely nothing today.
Well, okay, I took a shower. That was the most productive thing I did. Other than that I pretty much lazed around with Kevin, having absolutely asstarded conversations and laughing myself silly. These are the days that make everything worth it, I'm full on serious, doing nothing at home is like my favourite way to pass the time.

Uhhh... back to work tomorrow?
Must pick up eggs, milk, and gyoza buns :D

[Friday July 24th 2009]
[Today's Mood; Busy]
[Song; Smoke Baby by Hawksley Workman]

Thursdays and Fridays are usually my two days off, and then its back off to work Saturday mornings at 7am. It's not too bad a routine, unless I want to hang with Denise, seeing as her only days off are Friday nights :P bleh oh well, we'll figure something out.
Yesterday was a fairly good day. I got up early and went grocery shopping (100$ later... ouch) and lucky I did, a serious thunderstorm hit just as I got into the house! I figured I wasn't meant to go back out and started chores around the house. Laundry got completely done, dishes were washed and put away and I managed to get some of the clutter under control and even got to tackle the kitchen floor while I was at it. Failry productive day. Crashed early and that was pretty much it.

Woke up at about 9 this morning, came down and found the kitchen a mess. Spent most of my morning cleaning up and trying to pry whatever was caked on top and inside of the stove what a nightmare :(
Spent the day watching Big Bang Theory and a couple other things, passed the time fairly qickly until Kevin came home with... FREE PIZZA~! We chatted a bit while enjoying our free pizza and he asked how early I was working tomorrow. He wanted to go see Harry Potter but unfortunately I gotta be up at 5:30am to get to work so we're pushing it to either tomorrow or Sunday night. Now, I don't really like Harry Potter, but I'd like to hang out with Kevin some more. I really see him as this older brother figure even if I just met him like a month ago, and his girlfrind is an absolute sweetheart! I cannot wait to meet her in person when she gets back from New York. I owe these two a lot, and they're absolute darlings to me.

Not much planned for the week ahead, it seems pretty relaxed actually. Next Saturday, however, I'll be hopping on a plane and going down to Surrey. I won't have much time there, and I'll just be seeing my family. I'll be grabbing a few things as well, like my Xbox360 and possibly more of my pokemon plushies... haha I'm sure Rob will be very impressed when he comes home to find half the bed eaten by more of my pokemon plushies. So yeah, not planning on hanging much during that visit, seeing people will have to wait until I go down on the 10th to 13th and even then I will be squeezing lots of people in between my family visit, bank appointment, orthodontist appointment and going to Telus as well. I've got to keep reminding people that I'm not going down there on vacation, there will be more time in the future for that. That's not to say I don't want to see people, I just can't see everyone and it's going to irritate some and I know that. (I'm already taking two more days than needed on that trip)
In short, I will be briefly stopping in Surrey August 1st at 8pm and leaving August 2nd at 7:30pm.

Hrm, it's getting late, I should be geting ready for bed... early day tomorrow.
Also, gotta remember to pick up milk, I'm out of 2% yet again, haha!

[Wednesday July 22nd 2009]
[Today's Mood; Hot]
[Song; Viva la Vida by Boyce Avenue]

[11:00am]
Oh my gosh I just looked up the weather network and it's only 11am and already 28c/82f
I love the heat but this afternoon is going to kiiiiill me.

[10:30pm]
As I assumed, it was killer hot today. The walk to and back from work felt so much longer than it was haha. Another pretty relaxing day actually, managed to do some Laundry sitting in my closet and a load of towels for Kevin. I'm actually pretty exhausted from the heat today and I think I'll head to bed pretty soon.
Work was from 5:30 to 9:30 tonight, an even shorter shift than yesterday, but I managed to hold a conversation with Andrew. I don't know if I was scared of him at first or what but I didn't like him, now that I'm opening up and talking to him he's not too bad. He's got quite a mouth on him though, the moment a customer turns around it's just "Fuuuuck my liiiife." out of his mouth, haha he's fairly entertaining. Furby is back from vacation, I did miss him, he's my big teddy bear <3 my big gay teddy bear, haha.

Tomorrow is payday, which can only mean one thing, time to go grocery shopping. I've been living off of the noodles Rob gave me and I can't do it for much longer. Laundry also needs to be finished, dishes washed, clothes put away and mastercard paid off. I'm going to have to get up early to beat the heat if I want to hit up superstore and the bank. Luckily, if I get too lazy I'm off for the next two days and can put it off to friday, pfft hahaha.
Alright okay, I'm passing out at the computer. Sleep.

[Tuesday July 21st 2009]
[Today's Mood; Content]
[Song; I'm still here by Vertical Horizon]

I feel the need to properly use this as a journal, a diary if you will, which will mean more friend locked posts and comment locked posts. I will be pouring more of my personal life here so if you don't want to read it, please don't. If comments are disabled, it means I do not wish to talk about the subject at all, even out of livejournal, I would just feel the need to rant. Please respect this, and we'll have no problems.

So, as of today, I have been officially been in Kelowna for a month and regadless of the bumpy start things are looking up for me and people around me. I apologise again for the trouble and worry I have caused people, but I really don't care much what others are feeling or thinking of me... I'm done with that and I'm trying hard to change into a stronger and more confident person. It will take some time, and when the dust settles I'll see who is really willing to stick by me.
Today was a rather lazy day. I woke up at about 8:30 this morning, rolled over only to give a big empty space a hug, and then angrily go back to sleep until 10:30. I don't think my brain registered that there was nobody there to say hello to this morning, oops! I headed downstairs and made breakfast, which consisted of noodles Rob left me behind. Not much else was done, I've been trying to catch up things since I've been without a computer for... well a month haha. Writting e-mails to friends and my parents and the like.
Had to work from 5:30 to 10:30, a nice five hour shift. I'm beginning to make more friends out here, I'm not quite at the same level I used to be back at 1521, but I'm building back up to that point. I've also noticed that I'm beginning to be a little more outgoing, yet still terribly shy in some ways. Again, it's something that will take time to get over.
Some may have heard about the fires up here in kelowna, I'm lucky enough to be far from them but there are a few of my coworkers who are stuck being evacuated, and these fire vouchers are unbelievable. What a headache. I'm hoping things will look up, but with a day reaching a high of 39c/102f I'm doubting things will get safer soon.
In all, a rather relaxing day, Kevin's the only one around now and he's replaying FFXII and I've been looking over my shoulder every now and again to watch him play, how I love that game.

I think it may be bed time soon, I'm pretty exhausted from running around due to these fire vouchers. I really don't look forward t more in the next coming days :/ ugh.

Still feeling blah and untalkative.
Unless your name is Ron, and I am stupidly crushing on you. Fuck<3.

Maggots have taken over our garbage. I am severly grossed out, yet Kevin is entertained by them.

oh. Laundry is done.

Just thought I'd share this fun bit of my day.

*customer is a man in his mid 20s buying condoms, lube and nesquick chocolate syrup*
Me: *scans items through* well, this looks like a party.
Customer: *nods* *biggest grin ever!*
Me: *big grin* HIGH FIVE!!
*we then epicly high fived and burst out laughing*

So, in short

Went out
Got drunk
Lost my shoes
Tried to get into a house that wasn't mine
Cried
Found my house some half hour later
Drank a shit load of water


I love not caring about fuck all right now

UGH

These elastics between my teeth are... AUGH


OH THE DISCOMFORT.

Wednesday May 13th 2009, I will be getting my braces.

I am so retartedly excited for this.

So I was talkin' to Rob on msn and he sent me links from Fmylife.com I found this one and loled

'Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokemon game. FML'

and it for some reason reminded him of me.
It was certainly epic, since I took the release day off to go and buy it.


LOLOLOL WIN.